Sir John

From Blankclubencyclopedia

Sir John is a series of movies made by General Subwoofer on iMovie.

Sir John was made in iMovie


Brief History of the Movies (A.K.A- The Tragic Past of Sir John II)

Sir John I, was made mostly born of stupidity, but ended up a quality, entertaning production. Met with critical and economic success, Sir John was a important work for the Blank Club, showing that a move into public media could be done for the legendary group. In light of this, the following year Subwoofer started work on Sir John II, which promised to be bigger, better, and more polished then the last. Following the famous and excellent teaser trailer, which mirrored the opening of Star Wars IV: A New Hope, the hype grew to an unrivaled extent. Subwoofer employed multiple Blank club members to assist him in the design team, most notably Bannus, who worked on the trailer/intro. However, halfway through production, Subwoofer stopped the "filming" of Sir John II and fired the design team. The media and the Blank Club were very upset at this decision made by Subwoofer, and is noted by historians as a terrible move. However, Subwoofer hints that the Sir John saga may not be done quite yet...

Sir John I


None to speak of


None to speak of

Box Office Earings

None to speak of

Sir Joh, the diabolic arch-fiend of old.


Everything is peaceful and structured in Traquility Town, until the overlord noble Sir John of Misery Gorge Territory is granted permission from an unknown higher authority to quelch a so- called "rebellion" in the town. Marching in with a sizable battilion, the populace gathers into the town square to get to the bottom of the governer's unexpected arrival. Without warning, the army suddenly turned their weapons on the citizens, in turn creating one of the worst bloodsheds the land had ever seen. After the massacre of most of the population, the army proceeded to light the town aflame. In complete chaos, a small fraction of the population crawled out of the inferno and into the cold hills of Misery Gorge. The survivors had come together the best that they could, and in a collaberation, they created a small community hidden from view. Desperate for revenge of this atrocity that had been place upon them, they create a small group of men to infiltrate the regional capital, and kill the dictator. However, this group did not have luck on their side. They regularily encountered patrols of enemies, and their numbers dwindled to all but one. A hero of the village, armed with a iron sword of some fame, past down from family member to family member. He was around 45, and his wife and daughter had been among the dead in his town. Getting to the capital, he was able to sneak through the defenses, and finally got to John, who somehow was expecting him. John laughed at the hero's determinatinon, explaining to him that he was no match for the new powers he had been granted. The hero was confused at this statement, and demanded the truth about the sudden destruction of his town. John did not answer, telling him that it was beyond a mortal's control. "One that knows nothing can understand nothing" John told him with pure contempt. Outraged at this, the hero charged towards the wicked man, only to be struck down by terrible lightning emitted from John's hands. In pure torture, the hero languished on the ground, screaming in agony. With the last of his strength, he picked up his daughters calculator that had dropped out of his satchel, and hurled it at the overlord. John was caught off guard by this, and stumbled back. Tacking advantage of this, the hero then hurled his sword at John, piercing his heart, and causing him to fall off into the actual gorge, where he looked from high at his lands. Having defeated John, the hero fell to his knees, his whole body weak from the effects of John's lightning. Saying a silent prayer for his dead family, he passed away on the tall ridge. In doing this, he freed the land of the hostile force that that controlled them, and restored order to the land.

When Sir John attacks, you better pray his exceptional aiming skills fail him...

Actual Plot

Traquility Town is destroyed, and a hero from the town takes revenge on Sir John, who was responsible. The hero climb's Sir John's mountain and challenges him to a duel. Sir John strikes him down with Dark Sith Lightning, and almost kills him. However, the hero hurls a golden calculator at John, knocking him off the mountain. The hero dies from his wounds, but saves the world in the process

Critical Acclaim

Sir John was loved by most everyone, even by the peasant fodder. It was the most widely broadcasted Blank media work recorded in history. In fact, most demanded a sequel, which was begun, but never finished (see rest of article).

Sir John II: Dark Beurkinhein Rising


None to speak of


None to speak of (this is not an accurate figure, however, for it was cancelled halfway through production)

Box Office Earings

(never released)

Hypothetical Plot

After the death of Sir John, his chief general and underling, General Issac Beurkinhein, the last of the legendary Beurkinhein bloodline, takes over the territory. Using alchemy, he revives a new, corpse-like Sir John, although only as a figurehead to fool the populace into believing that their leader was still alive and ruling. Meanwhile, the people of Traquility Town, believing John's death, start to rebuild thier town from it's ashes. In the ruins, though, they find a message written in ash, warning them not to return, or a plauge will strike. Unphased by the message, they continue the restoration in peace. During this time, Beurkinhein has called the king of Norwick to a royal meeting, only to trick and murder him. Beurkinhein then launches a war against the larger providence, enbroiling the world in conflict.

The plot ends their, for General Subwoofer cancelled the project before more could be added.

Is the 'Sir John' Universe the same as the "Epic Story' Universe?


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