History of Dragons

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If you think about a dragon, clearly, a dragon is an animal which flies, and—

Wait, dragons aren't...dragons aren't real though!

How do you get a dra...an animal that's very large to fly? Well, the only way that you could do it essentially is to give it some kind of...of anti-gravity machine...{laughter}...or, maybe, give it some kind of gas that allows it to float, right?

Like Helium?

So, a dragon must be an animal that has helium or hydrogen in it, right? Where does the hydrogen come from?

Well planes are pretty heavy... Yeah, but they have engines.

That's right. And the dirigibles have hydrogen too. So [__] big dirigible, and, you know the reason they only need very tiny wings is because they don't have to move themselves—they're floating. They only have to change direction a little bit. And, the reason we only find dragons in the fossil records (?), in order to...the way they work was they made all this hydrogen in their...in their bones...and...and they had a big pouch, in the center section, and when they...when they had excess hydrogen they breathed it out, and they had a little kind of flint, and steel set in the back of there—

Oh, is that how they get the fire?

—and steel set in the back of there, and when they breathed the excess hydrogen out they, they {clack} hit the flint and steel and all the hydrogen went PSHHHHHH!



So...But the the problem was that we can't find any record of hy—of these dragons in the fossils because the place where all the hydr—all the...uh...hydrogen was being made was in the bones...


And the bones were making...making it out hydrochloric acid...



But dragons aren't real!

The hydr...the hydrochloric acid just ate up all the bones—

How do you know they were real though? How do you know if you can't find the bones?

We know they were real because we have written documentation from...abbots of the fifteenth century, and, and...and people in the Caucasians who saw them...


And and...we we...so we know they're real!

{General laughter}

{Inaudible conversation}

When you put two dragons together they die, because they breathe on each other, and they burn each other up. There...there was a little problem [___]...

-Dr. Whiteside

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