Evan Football

From Blankclubencyclopedia

A vortex nerf football that would be used in plays like Mumbo-Jumbo Foxes are the BOMB!

Evan Football is one of the most common games played by the Blank Club, second only to Rugby Racing. Some experts have speculated that Evan Football has its roots in Calvinball, probably because of its lenient rules and lack of any order.


Rules and Regulations of the Game

Evan Football is played with two teams on a long and skinny field outdoors, usually either at Barbour Stadium or Pryzant Mega Monolith of GOD (it is a field also, if you can believe it...). The game is very similar to football except for a couple rules. The point of the game is to bring the ball to the end of the opponents land. Players can forward ladder- roll the ball, trip players, and bash your enemies with the ball. However, the most important rule is that the play is not over until the ball touches the ground. As you can see this is a very contact- ridden sport. Because of how few players there normally are (two on each team) there are almost no passing plays, and teams that pass the ball too much, or use any conventional football practices are generally frowned upon.

Common Plays

Warning: many play titles have little to no relevance to the actual plays, and were named in 5th Grade

Mumbo- Jumbo Foxes are the BOMB!

  • Class- Offensive
  • Brutality- 9
  • Comments- This play can only be done with the use of one of those Vortex balls with the tail and all. Using the ball as a flail, the player rains terrible justice upon his opponents by smashing the ball against heads, stomachs, or genitals (I'm sorry, but sometimes, it's terribly true. Mostly by accident). The injured opponent will not be able to move, and the player is free to prance across the field. Due to the plays brutal nature, and the fact that a Vortex ball is not under the ownership of a Blank player at the moment, the play is rarely used in modern times. However, in it's early days, it was feared and respected, and is legendary today

Roll em'

  • Class- Defensive
  • Brutality- 3
  • Comments- A purely fun maneuver performed by the defending team. In this play, the defenders push the ball carrier onto the ground and proceed to roll him back, making him lose yardage, for 10 seconds. If this is performed correctly, and the defender proclaims that he will do a roll em', the rule that the play is over when the ball hits the ground is ignored for the ten second period. This play can only be performed one every down, the opposition can resist as much as they want (although they cannot exceed the point in which they were at at the time the Roll em' was started, and the Rollers must sing "Roll em, roll em, roll em" as they perform the play.


  • Class- Offensive
  • Brutality- 10
  • Comments- In this play, the ball carrier loses all judgement of right and wrong, and insanely flings himself at his opponents in an effort to get through, or just to cause violence. This play usually ends is disaster, bloodshed, and tears. (or a trail of tears, for the more avant garde...) This play has mixed results, but usually is a bad one. However it is a good last resort play, and amazingly, is one of the most common plays used in Evan Football
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